College Dating
As a female college student who is single and attempting to find someone to watch Netflix with, I feel qualified enough to write this post.
A few weeks ago, I got a match on Tinder. I was so excited when he messaged me and we started Snapchatting. He wanted to go on a date and I said yes. The plan was that he would come over after his hall meeting on Sunday, and we'd watch The Goonies. I've never seen The Goonies, so I was ready for a new experience and to also go on my first college date. I had a little panicky clean-up session in my room, prepped my outfit, and made sure my laptop was charged. He told me he was headed over and I was waiting for him to tell me he arrived, but I never got the message. Instead, he blocked me on Snapchat. At first I thought it was a mistake and that he had accidentally blocked me, but that he was still on his way. I had a friend walk down to the lobby with me just to double check, but no, he was not there. I freaked out and thought of everything I had sent him in the past day, wondering what I did wrong. I did absolutely nothing wrong but choose to go on a date with the wrong guy.
I was in a depressive state for an hour, wondering what was wrong with me, when a few girls from my hall heard about it. One of them found his Instagram account and messaged him, telling him off. She got five other girls to message him, and one asked why he did it. His response? "I got nervous." If you're ever nervous for a date, that's normal. Please don't block the innocent person on Snapchat and unmatch with them on Tinder because they will blame themself.
After experiencing this trauma, I decided I would no longer look for a relationship or go on dates. I had all of Thanksgiving Break to reflect on my new single outlook. Then I was reunited with my roommate, who has an addiction for swiping on Tinder. I joined her, thinking "what could go wrong?" and I got a lot of matches. It made me feel validated and wanted. I hate to say that it made me feel that way, but it's true. It's nice to feel like someone wants you. One of the guys I matched with suggested meeting up for coffee this past Monday. Naturally my Mondays are crazy busy so I had to turn him down. Then I gave him my number because I was feeling a little wild. We texted for a bit and set up a date for this Saturday. On Tuesday, he texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out on Wednesday (yesterday), and even though I had two papers due today, I said yes. Tuesday night I cranked out those papers in the hopes that I could go on a nice date. So when he actually showed up last night in my dorm's lobby, I had high hopes. We watched Chopped and created little inside jokes, and although only our arms touched the whole time, it felt nice. Three hours later I walked him down and he gave me a hug and said "See you around." Not "See you Saturday!" Nope. "See you around." I thought that was a little strange, but I decided to let it go. Then this morning one of my friends wanted to see his profile on Tinder, so I pulled it up and he had unmatched with me. I got a sick feeling in my stomach and tried to put it out of my mind. I went to class and barely focused, only thinking of what I had done wrong. I texted him before class saying that I wanted to just be friends, but he didn't respond.
Being ghosted twice in a month sucks a lot. It makes you feel like there's something wrong with you, and you never get closure because the person didn't have the guts to tell you they're not interested. It leaves everything open-ended in a sick, twisted way. And now I feel terrible about myself because it seems like this guy can't stand the idea of even being friends with me. My theory on why college boys are even worse than high school boys is this: they're independent for probably the first time in their lives, and without their mother around to tell them how to treat women, they decide to mess around with them and not deal with the consequences. Being a straight-forward person, this to me is one of the most cowardly things a person could do.
So seriously, don't ghost people. It just makes them feel awful and doesn't help make running into them any less awkward. Deal with your problems. Seriously.
