Loving Yourself
Falling in love with yourself is difficult. It's an ongoing process that has major ups and downs. I personally have issues with keeping it stable. Some days I think I belong in the garbage, and others I think that I am a gift to all of the mortals surrounding me. Neither one of these is really healthy. But there are some days that I look in the mirror and I fall in love with the tiny freckles the sun had given me earlier that week. I'll come up with a joke that has everyone gasping for air and I'll beam. These are the moments of love that matter.
Love is complicated. I am not the first person to discover this, nor will I be the last. I can only offer my own opinions on the matter. One day I'll love my laugh, then later on someone gives me a weird look after expressing joy and I'll hide. We are heavily dependent on the world around us to shape who we become. Every single person you meet will end up affecting your life in one way or another, whether it be positive or negative, or a mix of both. Some people are so radiant and positive that you can't help but feel happy when you are near them. Those are the people you want to spend your time with. It's common to joke with your friends and make fun of them every other sentence, but it wears down after awhile.
In season six of How I Met Your Mother, Ted begins dating a woman named Zoey (she spells it wrong but whatever). Ted and Zoey love each other, but they can never support each other. They have completely different opinions on everything. Even though they care for each other an immense amount, their relationship is unhealthy. If your loved ones cannot support you in making the right decisions and making you feel good about those decisions, are they actually good for you?
Relationships typically aren't all good or all bad, they're a mix of the two. The ratio that every person can handle is unique. Some need more support, while others need independence. There is no right and wrong when it comes to love. It's all gray area. Which sucks. But that's the way it is.
It's the same for loving yourself. I can't walk around cursing my parents for creating me, but at the same time I also can't demand people to worship me. There is a balance needed in order to survive and stay happy. Oftentimes if I become overconfident, I end up being smacked down by reality and it is not fun. So basically you need to love yourself, but not too much. Write down things you love about yourself and areas you need to grow in. One for me is writing more on this blog, because it's been a few months.
Be honest with yourself about where you stand. The only person in life you need to be completely honest with (besides your therapist) is you. I'm not saying become a compulsive liar. But telling little white lies sometimes to spare other peoples' feelings can be kind. Just make sure to keep yourself in check.
