ProcrastiNation
“Write what you know.” That’s what we’ve always been told, right? Gather the data, and write it down. The data gathering, however, can be scrambled and half-assed when you procrastinate. Which is what I’m well-known for. Procrastinating.
I put off taking the technology test (a test all high schoolers must pass if they wish to opt out of taking the technology class, a grade which every high schooler is required to acclimate if they wish to graduate). I put off taking that test until the very last possible day, and when I asked my 10th period teacher for a pass to leave five minutes early in the hopes I could acquire a seat without drawing the blood of another procrastinator, my teacher gawked at me.
“Why do you need a pass? Can’t you just take the test next semester?” Why, no, Mr. V, I can’t, because I procrastinated, and if I don’t take that test today I may not be able to graduate in May. “How many opportunities did you have to take the test?” This reply came more reluctantly. Well, you see, Mr. V, I could have taken it freshman or sophomore or junior year. “So you’re telling me I should reward your poor judgment by allowing you to leave my class early to take a test you’ve been putting off?” Would it help if I said ‘please?’ He caved and wrote the pass, and I took the test. I ended up scoring a 92, which is impressive until you learn that one of the questions was “What gives the computer power?” to which the (multiple choice) answer is “Power source.”
As you can see, procrastination is a force to be reckoned with. Or, at least, reckoned with later. Another source of procrastination? My senior paper. As in, the paper every senior must write in order to graduate. Boy, am I good at putting off things I need in order to graduate. To be fair, I was sick for the two days we were supposed to be writing an initial draft. My draft was one-and-a-half pages long double-spaced. The senior paper is supposed to be six to seven pages.
I went in on the second day I was sick, and when I sat down with my friends before first period, I made the mistake of asking my friend what we were supposed to do that day. When she said we were having a peer editing day and that the paper was due tomorrow, I immediately felt even more ill. I exaggerated the circumstances so the nurse would allow me to go home, where I promptly ate four pounds of chicken noodle soup. You may think I used some hyperbole with that last sentence. I did not. I literally ate four pounds of chicken noodle soup that day and loved every bite.
That night, I slaved over my paper and eventually emerged with almost seven pages of pure genius. The senior paper is supposed to be purely research we did on a topic we are interested in, so of course I chose orca whales. I. Love. Orca. Whales. Orca whales are my passion. I think that statement proved to be a little too true in my paper, as my English teacher wrote on basically every single page that I was using “emotional language” but that my data was “well-researched.” I read pretty much every single article I could get my sickly little hands on. I cross-referenced data and made mental flow charts of dates and numbers. I worked my ass off that night, and I was proud to win a B+. One of the only redeeming qualities of writing that paper is that I got to use “utilizing whales for capitalist gains” in a sentence. Now tell me that isn’t astounding.
One of the worst parts of writing is trying to write what you don't know. Every teacher wants you to write a conclusion. "What have you learned from your readings that complicates your claim?" If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I could afford ten more pounds of chicken noodle soup. Well what I've learned is that usually you can get by with procrastination, as long as you don't let it catch up to you too quickly (or you'll use too many sick days).
