Dear Straight Girls
I'm so sorry. I feel SO guilty. I haven't written in forever. Today's title has absolutely nothing to do with numbers but everything to do with my sexuality. As you can see, the title today is "Dear Straight Girls." You may remember that I, myself, am not a straight girl. I'm bisexual. This is an open letter to every straight girl that has given me heart break (and trust me, there are a ton).
I dye my hair. I think it's pretty. It has faded to a pastel mint, and I quite like it. It's even seen as a signal for being gay. However, straight girls have also recently started their hair outrageous colors. Please stop. It may be rude of me to ask, but please leave me this one thing. You already make out with other girls when you're drunk or "experimenting" so please just give me brightly colored hair. It's like a bat signal for gay girls everywhere: bright hair=mega gay. But when straight girls dye their hair, and I hit on them, thinking they are a fellow gay, and I get turned down, I get pissed. How else am I supposed to identify my kind in a sea of friendly (totally flirty, by the way) girls? It's a battle and I'm on the losing side.
Also, stop being nice. Girls are so freaking kind to each other. Honestly, it's like foreplay to my demented gay brain. If someone is nice and touching me, I want to kiss them. Girls are total dicks to men (I am an excellent example of this) they aren't attracted to when the attention they are receiving is too friendly for their liking. I mean don't be completely awful to me. I don't want you to bully me. But I also don't want you to playfully flirt with me only to go home to your boyfriend.
If you replace some of the genders and sexualities in this post I sound like a bitchy straight boy who can't get a date. I guess I am: I'm a bitchy bisexual girl who only gets action at parties (that are totally lit by the way). It's not the best piece to come back on, but it is what's been on my mind as of late. I just need to get laid.
