Five Golden Posts
Yes, today's title is based on the song "the 12 Days of Christmas." Yes I am aware it is June not December. And no, I do not care. *Puts on cool sunglasses and skateboards away* Alrighty, now that my weirdness has hit a new high point, it's time to shift to normal babble!
I am so tired. In the good way. Like, I had a long, fulfilling day and I am wiped because of it. Although I had to suffer through early dinner at a steakhouse (both my brother and I are vegetarians), it was redeemed by my mother. It is Father's Day, and my bro and I did do our part AKA wrapping presents and signing a card and sitting while he opened both. We even went to a BBQ restaurant. My brother, the hero he is, planned to take me to dinner AFTER the meat sanctuary so we could actually eat. We met up with our mom at a different restaurant and talked for hours. Like four hours. Straight. We also got some ice cream. But we had a really great conversation. My brother and I talked about our troubles and my mother sympathized and we talked about everything else under the moon. My brother is going to a concert with me next month and I'm really excited because we've grown really close recently and I'm ready to bond even more. This weekend he and his girlfriend are meeting us at the camp grounds halfway through our stay to hang out. I think it's going to be a really great time and I'll remember it forever.
My mother and I are actually very similar and we decided about a year ago to get matching tattoos on my 18th birthday. We've decided to get "I love you" in each others handwriting on the back of our right shoulder. It'll be a piece of her to keep us connected because when I go off to college we won't be together as often. We're sort of like Rory and Lorelai Gilmore with different personalities and backstories. It was really great to hang out with her and not worry about anything else.
When my brother and I got home, I went upstairs and started searching through Facebook. For fun I looked through my old messages with my ex boyfriend, whom I haven't even talked to in about three years. As I read through them, I was so confused. I didn't remember typing those things, and I didn't think I ever would have said things that I did. I've grown a lot as a person and I think I've accepted both myself and others more in general. I've become way more open-minded. I think I've become a better person and more mature. I mean, obviously 17-year-old Zoe is more mature than 14-year-old Zoe. But it was kinda shocking to see just how different I am now. I don't think I would ever approach a relationship the way I did back then. But it's all my past experiences that have made me who I am, so I wouldn't take back that relationship, even if it meant saving myself from a little embarrassment and hurt. I am glad, however, that Younger Zoe was able to break off that relationship because it didn't make me happy anymore. Even though he resisted I was firm and I hope that I'll keep that quality in the future when it comes to other aspects of my life, not just dating.
Now that we've all talked about my only relationship ever, we're gonna move on and chalk up all the embarrassing memories to Middle School Trauma. Middle school is awful because everyone is developing physically and mentally into who they will be as a person, and sometimes they bring others down without meaning to. Middle school was a struggle, and I'm sure most will agree with me on this, but I'm so thankful that I don't get judged for how I was/what I did in middle school.
Okay I'm tired and I'm 90% sure that if I keep talking, it will make no sense and I will enter the realm of "Fake Deep." It's a thing. It's happened before. So I'm gonna stop typing now. Toodles!
